The Binman was my first ever forayinto the world of screenwriting and kickstartsthe trilogy that is both a parody and a homage to the action-hero genre that became popular back in the eighties when I was an impressionable teen. Though it's been many years since I excitedly sat on my old vinyl sofa to watch, on video cassette, the holy trinity of the action-hero genre Sylvester Stallone, Arnold Schwarzenegger and Bruce Willis, as well as the titans Jean-Claude van Damme and Dolph Lundgren and other demi-gods such as Matthias Huesas each one of them blew up, shot, stabbed, kicked and punched their unique and violent way to victory then delivered an unforgettable or corny one-liner, my consciousness has been indelibly seared, for the better I think, with their heroic exploits for I can vividly recall their dispatches and witticisms, as if I were still that teen sitting on that vinyl settee ready again to worship the action-movie gods.
The Binman Trilogy is a daring, action-packed, over-the-top yet quirky and unconventional tribute to the eighties action-hero whether still worshipped or long forgotten but with a twist. Whereas most action-heroes readily kill human beings to reach their goals, Gordon actually tries to avoid it.
One war against one binman.
The Binman begins in New Mexico, USA, in the present day when homicidal zombies, an unforeseen side-effect of Professor von Knobende's new viral bio-weapon, break out of the secretly C.I.A funded Vitafex laboratory, and reduce virtually the entire population of the nearby town of Malade Muerte to undead, unquenchable, blood-thirsty flesh-eaters with the exception of vice-cop Parker Cummings a hot headstrong blonde, sex-on-legs Johnnie-Waine Cockings a mysterious breast-heavy brunette, Korean War vet Tracey Lance Wanker the Third a decrepit lame hunchback, nerdy shy teen No Nob Chenlom and his ass-whooping grandma Tittyporn Chenlom.
Zombies litter the streets. A hapless hero cleans up.
Into the living hell that is now the former rest-stop town of Malade Muerte comes eighties action-film fanatic and wannabe tough-guy Gordon Bennett, a London binman separated from his long-suffering wife Karen and sick son Rodney. Gordon, who lives is in a poky bed-sit crammed full of action-movie paraphernalia, arrived in the U.S. pumped up and half-pissed for an eighties action-hero convention to be held in Malade Muerte but on the wrong day having got confused by the American and British dates on a flyer.
He never fought a battle. He couldn't win.
When Gordon becomes infected with the virus, the race is on for him to discard his action-hero fantasy, and with the help of the survivors who themselves start to fall victim to the voracious appetites of the zombies, to escape from the town of terror and get to the Vitafex lab in search of a cure. But, will Gordon be able to overcome the greater horrors that lie in wait at the secret research center, and find the cure to save him and the world?
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"You're a funny guy, Gordon. If the zombies don't kill me, I think I'll die fuckin' laughin'."
"I trust you, you trust me - we survive. If not, we die."
"To have pulled a fast one like this, you’ve got to be off ya’ fuckin’ tits"
"Bollocks to the lot a' ya'!"
"Back in London, that's what we call a cunt's trick."
A one-page synopsis in .PDF format is available to download below.